The neighbor next door tried to get my attentiveness by picking up the broken limbs left behind from the storm. I ignored him. If he wants to do that, then more power to him, I didn't ask him to do it, so I shouldn't have to thank him. He's intruding on my privacy, because now I must whether thank him, or feel guilty for not. He made me think about him. He made me try not to think about him. He invaded without saying a word.
Of course, maybe I'm too self-centered and full of my own importance. Maybe he wasn't trying to get my attention. Maybe he was just trying to find something to do to fill his lonely hours. He lives alone, just as I. Maybe he acted on impulse, trying to be a good neighbor.
It seems he's always out there, or just about to be out there. I put up a bamboo curtain in the middle of our shared porches so I wouldn't have to see him each time I walked out the door. Not that he's awfully ugly, but he's just always lurking out there. I don't go out except to check the mail, or to take the garbage to the curb. If he's there, I act as if I don't see him. If he's not there, I hurry, mental that I got lucky and want to avoid spoiling it by having him walk out the door before I stepping back behind mine.
He gets an attitude. It's as if he's telling me, by slamming his door, that I will not erase him simply by wishing to. He tells me, with that door, that he can and will always be out there whenever he chooses.
At 5:30 a.m. It wakes me when he slams it and my windows and pictures rattle. Sometimes, it scares me, because I am still asleep and think the bomb just dropped or an earthquake has occurred. I mutter profane names to him and conjure images of the nasty note I will tape to his loud door, but not yet. I might need to know he's there one day. I might need to walk out on that porch and see him there and precisely say hello, how are you today?
I allow him to invade and intrude and impose his attitude, and I never utter a word, because I am worse than he. I will ignore him, but refuse to confront him for his behavior because I'm afraid I'm as alone as he. I don't like him being there, but I'm afraid I will need him to be there, and then he will act as if I'm invisible, just as I've done to him so often. What will I do then?
The old lady over the road has a big dog for a companion. The consolidate behind me has a big dog, too. I can't have one, landlady rules. But, I have this slamming-door neighbor. He's roughly like a pet. He doesn't talk to me because I have trained him to leave me alone. He bought headphones so his stereo wouldn't disturb me. He picks up my dead tree limbs, yet he knows to stay silent. I have to wonder who is in charge here? Who is controlling whom? Who is the most pathetic?
He's probably asleep now at 11:00 pm because he must be up at 5:30 am to slam the door. Is that good discipline, dedication or depravity? I can't decide, but I will be awake at 5:30 am to once again manufacture the nasty note that never gets written or taped to the slamming door.
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